You know, it’s probably a terrible idea to list my phobias and fears out for the internet to see. BUT I’M GOING TO DO IT. Because I like making bad decisions. They’re fun. And most of my phobias are probably hard to recreate unless I’m actually a Sim, in which case… I’m probably already destined for some bad times.
Anyway. Everyone’s afraid of something, aren’t they? If they’re not, I’d like to meet them, because they must be exceedingly brave. …Or they’re a sociopath, in which case, mmm maybe not.
Some of my fears are serious, some are silly, and some are fairly bizarre.
1.Driving in the snow
Maybe it’s the feeling of my car wanting to end my life prematurely. Maybe it was the time my mom and I saw a tractor-trailer jackknife and flip over on the highway in front of us. I get really freaked out about driving on icy, snowy roads. Which is why I terribly would like to live either a place where I don’t have to drive or one where I don’t have to deal with winter.
Bleah. Oh gosh. I can’t even think about jellyfish too much. I’m always tempted to fast-forward through that section of Finding Nemo. They’re just gross and look like they shouldn’t exist and then there are the really deadly ones in Australia. But then again, pretty much everything is deadly in Australia. I live in fear of going in the ocean and having one brush up against my leg with its feelers. Something about them is really squelchy and icky, just like the word…
I just shuddered typing that and hearing it in my head. Ugh. Let’s move on.
4. Being trapped/stuck somewhere
My nightmares all follow a common theme, ever since I was little. Generally I’m stuck in some sort of dystopian world and can’t escape, or I’m lost and kind find my way out. When I was little, there was one nightmare where an evil witch destroyed my home and so my family was moving to a new home but I couldn’t find them or keep up. A funny variation on this nightmare was during high school, I dreamt that my best friend’s mom thought I was my friend and locked me in a pantry and wouldn’t let me out. (Don’t ask). But this translates to real life too. I don’t like being stuck, physically or metaphorically.
No, I’m not afraid of fat people. I’m afraid of succumbing to the average American prototype. So I work out like a hamster on a wheel. I find exercise to be restorative, both mentally and physically, but I also am afraid of the possibility becoming so unhealthy that my quality of life is impacted. When I think about how sedentary my life is as a grownup, I get itchy and need to go run off some steam.
6. Dummies/ventriloquist dolls
Or any sort of uncanny valley type toy too. My brother was given a furby one year when we were little. I dismantled that vassal of Satan and locked it up in a trunk AND IT STILL MADE NOISE AND GIGGLED TO ITSELF. Pure evil, man. Stuff of nightmares.
No, seriously. I’m really afraid of space. I like it on a conceptual level. I love Star Wars and Doctor Who and Futurama. But… the people who first signed up to be astronauts had to be some crazy, crazy people. Beyond that, thinking about space in any seriousness overwhelms my brain, especially the whole sun exploding bit, and gives me an existential crisis for a while. Then I need to usually distract myself with Tumblr.
The immortal enemy of any perfectionist.
9. Gunk in the sink
Oh my god. I can’t. That’s the one chore I can’t do. I have done some pretty gross things. I have cleaned up a friend’s vomit, plunged toilets, changed diapers, collected dog urine to test it for ketones, unclogged my college bathroom shower (clogged with someone else’s hair, no less). But I cannot, cannot deal with bits of old food in the sink. Especially, like in my house, where people put utensils that have pet food still on them in the sink without rinsing them. Omg. A clogged sink is my nightmare.
10. Daddy Long-Legs
They disturb me on a deep, emotional level. Like jellyfish, they also seem like they shouldn’t exist. Honestly, I don’t care about your regular variety of spiders, but daddy long-legs are just wrong. They’re like orange floating dots with spindly lines for legs and they move and they want to kill you but they can’t because our skin is too thick. Creepy little buggers.
Anyway. Now that I’ve listed my most bizarre fears, I need to go watch videos of pugs or turtles eating strawberries to get these visions out of my mind.